i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
