i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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