Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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