Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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