You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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