I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Damn victory sex feels great
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
