just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
