Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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