Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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