Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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