just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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