Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I wannas sexs uuuuu
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You made out with two different species that night
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
third nipple confirmed
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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