Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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