Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Man, jail baloney is awful.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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