I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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