I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
