Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
