so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
