Where is the hickey?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
