Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
