Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize