I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
