Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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