i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
