I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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