how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
