Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
