I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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