Buhtt sex?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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