i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
They took my balls.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize