Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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