so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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