there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
