he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
