I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
cat food counts as protein by the way
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize