So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
