Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
