I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
