..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
