also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
