she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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