FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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