id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Randomize
