Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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