I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
