As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize