Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Fuck me I smell like cheese
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
