So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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