I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Randomize
