i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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