Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
