I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm passing your future prison.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
