I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
