I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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