I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
