I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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