I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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