either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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